


long before this new girl came by

by lightningcanary



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-10 04:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningcanary/pseuds/lightningcanary
Summary: what happens when the FBI and Blake Crawford, joined by her "employee" Tasha Zapata, have to team up?





	1. there in her arms

**Author's Note:**

> That summary is terrible but I honestly have no idea what's going on so...
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna go back to hiding under my rock.

"Fuck," Blake moans at the feeling of Tasha's lips on her neck. "Ta--SHA!" she screams when Tasha, after kissing up her neck, bites her earlobe. Her fingers twitch, making her hold on Tasha tighten as she accidentally scratches her back and makes Tasha groan into Blake's ear, giving her the time and strength to put her hand over Tasha's chest and push her away. "We're gonna be late," she whispers, looking straight at Tasha's lips as she smirks.

Tasha leans back over Blake's ear. "You underestimate me," she whispers while she moves her hands down her back, sending a shiver down Blake's spine and making her lean into the touch. She kisses her jaw as her hands reach the end of Blake's dress. Noting Blake's heavy breathing, she smirk against her skin and hikes the dress up to her waist. Kissing her deeply, Tasha lifts Blake up and sits her on the office table.

Blake wraps her legs around Tasha's waist and rocks her hips down, whimpering from desire. But Tasha has other ideas. She unwraps Blake's legs and separates them, leaving her wide open and heavy breathing.

Tasha kneels down in front of her and starts kissing the inside of her thighs. Blake's breathing hitches as she kisses her over her panties and lets her tongue dart out.

Again, Blake moves her hips down, trying to get more friction and whimpering. Tasha puts her hands over her hips to stop her from moving before sucking on her clit, eliciting a loud moan from the blonde. She's so wet, Tasha is pretty sure she could make her come without taking her panties off, but she also has to be fast, so, using her teeth, she rips them off. Blake gasps and looks down at her, her pupils dilated.

With a new smirk, Tasha leans in and kisses the now bare clit again. Meanwhile, she moves her hand off of Blake's thigh to circle her entrance with two fingers before entering her.

In a few minutes, Blake is writhing under Tasha's touch and practically begging to make her come, incapable of staying quiet. And come is exactly what she does when Tasha adds a third finger and hits just the right spot inside her while her tongue applies just the right pressure on her clit.

"That was... Wow," Blake says after she comes down from her high.

"Thank God the walls are sound proof," Tasha teases with a raised eyebrow after standing up.

Blake shoves her shoulder and looks at her phone. "Okay, we really do have to go now."

"Yeah, you need a new pair of underwear," Tasha giggles in her ear before walking away towards the door.

* * *

Patterson is nervous.

She's not gonna lie, she hasn't slept all night because she couldn't stop thinking about today. She keeps chewing her lips and fidgeting and she's pretty sure Rich knows exactly what's going on because he won't stop looking at her.

"Patterson," he tells her when they are alone. "It's just Zapata."

"No, it's not!" she snaps at him. "It's Zapata and Blake Crawford, whom she has been working for for two months. The two months that she has been missing and the only contact she's had with any of us has been through text messages."

"You mean the same two months that you spent telling me that you missed her and wished you could have told her you had forgiven her and that you love her? You can do it now."

She looks down at her feet and doesn't answer. He's right, the time apart basically only made her realize that she's in love with Tasha, but she doesn't think Tasha likes her back, she doesn't even know if she likes girls (even if Rich insists she is "the biggest lesbian he's ever met").

Before anything else can be said, Weller interrupts them to tell them that the women are in the building.

* * *

She hates Blake Crawford. She fucking hates her.

First of all, she acts like she's there to do them a favor when this case could destroy her company. And, okay, she only said one comment - and, sure, it was after Patterson snapped at her (for very reasonable reasons) - but this is as important for her as it is for them.

And then there's her voice. She can't stand her voice. Every time she hears her, she feels like she's gonna explode. And the worst thing is, she talks a lot.

And-- who is she kidding? She hates her because she's fucking perfect! She's intelligent, she's so damn nice, she's spent the whole day smiling at everyone, she's so beautiful and she's one of the most caring people she has met, and she has only known her for three hours. She hates her because she is amazing. And she has spent the whole day glued to Tasha.

Okay, yes. She's jealous.

She's jealous because she has been wanting to see Tasha for two months (two months that she spent with this goddess) and now that she has, she can't get her alone because Blake is there all the damn time.

She's jealous because she has seen the way Blake looks at Tasha and she knows. She knows Blake is in love with Tasha. She knows because she looks at her the same way and, God, she's so in love with Tasha. (Another thing she realized today, if she thought she was bad when she couldn't see her, the three hours they've spent together showed her it could be worse.)

She's jealous because she has also seen how Tasha looks lighter, happier. She has had a tiny smile on her lips all day - even when Rich tried to annoy her!

She's jealous because, if Tasha likes girls and she doesn't like Blake, she's so screwed because there's no way she's ever gonna like her back, and if she does like Blake or she doesn't like girls, she's also screwed.

So she just knows she's screwed.

And it's all Blake's fault.


	2. I'll smile and hide the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what's going on.

She loves Patterson.

They've only known each other for three hours, but Blake already adores her. She's the smartest person she's ever met, she's funny, she's gorgeous and she makes her girlfriend happy.

But she's pretty sure Patterson hates her. And, well, that has her a bit upset. On one side, because she's used to being liked, she likes people, she always likes everyone until they prove to be bad people, and usually they like her back, so she feels weird because she doesn't even know what she did for Patterson to hate her like that. Her, not her company or her father, she doesn't like _her_.

On the other side, Patterson is one of her girlfriend's best friends and probably the most important person in her life, at least that's what she thinks from what Tasha has told her the last few months. She really wants Tasha's "family" to like and accept her. Because even if she hasn't told her yet, she's so in love with Tasha. How could she not? She's amazing, passionate about her job and a lot sweeter than most people think.

But Patterson hates her and she doesn't know what to do.

Tasha finds her in the bathroom right when she sighs in disappointment. She walks up to her and wraps her arms around her waist and kissing her cheek from behind her. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asks in a hushed tone.

Blake fakes a smile and relaxes under Tasha's touch. "Nothing."

"Blake. You're upset, what's up?" Tasha says in a stern voice, rolling her eyes.

Blake looks at her through the mirror for a few seconds, keeping up the facade, but when Tasha stays impassive, she gives up, sighing again. "Patterson hates me," she says, biting the inside of her lip. Tasha chuckles. "I'm serious."

"Really? Why would she hate you?"

"I don't know, but she does."

Tasha frowns confused. "I'll... talk to her."

* * *

Patterson is in her lab when she feels someone tap her shoulder to try to get her attention. She turns around to find Tasha sheepishly looking at her. "Hey..." the brunette says, biting her lip.

Patterson lights up, seeing that she's alone (finally). "Hey." She can sense Tasha's insecurity about how to act around her and she remembers that she didn't have the opportunity to tell her she had forgiven her. Instead of talking, though, she walks towards her and wraps her arms around her waist.

Tasha sucks in a breath before she relaxes in Patterson's arms, returning the hug. "I've missed you so much," she whispers before Patterson can say anything.

"I've missed you too," she replies. "And I'm sorry I froze you out for so long, I forgave you a while ago but didn't get to tell you before you left."

"No, I deserved that. I should have told you about him. And I'm sorry I left."

"It's okay. You're here now."

After a few more seconds of silence, still holding each other, Patterson chuckles. "This is the longest hug ever."

Tasha hums. "But we gotta make up for the lost time."

"Be careful, your cold hearted reputation could be in danger with comments that soft," Patterson says with a small laugh.

"Shut up," she replies, breaking the hug and making Patterson laugh louder.

They decide to get dinner and spend the next two hours eating and catching up.

"Patterson, can I ask you something?" Tasha says, gaze fixed on her food.

"Of course," Patterson replies.

"It's about Blake."

"Oh," she says, a bit disappointed.

"She thinks you hate her..." Tasha continues, looking up to make eye contact.

"I don't hate her," Patterson scoffs. "I just..." she starts, cutting herself off, not knowing what to say. Because 'I'm jealous' isn't something she wants to confess to the woman she's in love with.

"You just...? She's clearing her father's company, you know? We are. She's not like him... She's really trying to make the world a better place."

"I know. It's just..." Patterson sighs. "I don't know... I missed you and... we didn't have the chance to talk until an hour ago because she was there..." she says in a small voice.

Tasha looks at her in understanding and a bit guiltily. "That's probably my fault... I kind of avoided being alone with you."

"Why?" Patterson asks, hurt.

"I was afraid. I didn't know what to expect... I'm sorry."

Patterson shrugs it off. "It's alright... Speaking of Blake... You and her?" Patterson asks, looking down at her food, dreading the answer but wanting to be there for Tasha.

She looks up briefly and sees the brunette slightly blushing and biting her lip to stop herself from smiling. She really wishes she hadn't looked. "We are... kind of dating..."

"Kind of?" she asks, looking up.

"We haven't really talked about it," Tasha shrugs.

Patterson hums, her heart pounding as she feels like she's gonna pass out, or throw up.

"I really like her though," Tasha whispers.

Patterson feels the pressure in her chest while her eyes water.

"I haven't felt like this since..."

She manages to stop the tears from falling, she gulps down and puts on a smile. "That's great. I think she likes you a lot too."

Tasha smiles at her and in that moment Patterson knows that she's gonna have to suck it in because Tasha looks genuinely happy and there's nothing she wants more than seeing that smile every day. Even if it's because of another woman.


	3. but sometimes it can get so hard (pretending it's okay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I adore or hate this chapter...

It's 4am when Blake stirs in her sleep. She reposition herself, leaning over Tasha's shoulder and putting an arm around her bare stomach.

She's about to fall back asleep when she feels one of Tasha's hand caress her back and the other draw circles on her arm. She opens her eyes and looks up. Tasha is wide awake, looking at the ceiling clearly deep in thought. "Tash? Are you okay?" she says in a hushed tone.

Tasha's gaze falls on Blake's eyes. She looks surprised, like she didn't realise Blake was awake. "Hey, I'm fine, I just couldn't sleep."

"Hmm. Any particular reason? You seemed to be in your own world."

"I'm okay," she says, planting a quick kiss on Blake's lips. "Go back to sleep, babe. It's late."

Blake sighs, feeling a little weak after the short kiss. She sets a peck on Tasha's chin and leaves a trail of kisses up her jaw to her ear. "I'm already awake," she whispers seductively.

Tasha, darkened eyes, biting her lip, leans back slightly to look at her lips. Before Blake can react, she has switched their positions, has a leg between Blake's and has started rubbing up and down, making the blonde moan uncontrollably. "We'll have to make the best of it, then," she says huskily in her ear.

* * *

Blake is falling back asleep with Tasha laying over her when the brunette speaks. "By the way, I spoke with Patterson," she says, looking up at her. "She doesn't hate you, she was just upset cause we hadn't talked in months and she couldn't get me alone."

Blake hums. After a few seconds, a smile appears in her lips. "So she was jealous, uh?" she teases. Tasha frowns and she looks away as her eyes lose focus. She looks pretty much like she did when Blake first woke up. Blake bites her lip. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Tasha's attention goes back to Blake. She smiles. "Yeah, I'm alright," she tells her. "Let's go to sleep, it's late," she adds, leaning back down over Blake.

"Okay..." she says unconvinced. "Good night, babe."

"Good night."

* * *

Patterson is fine.

She's alright.

She's okay with being in love with her best friend who happens to be dating her new boss whose company is involved in their current FBI case making them all have to work together 8 hours a day every day.

She's okay with said best friend telling her about how happy her now officially, because they talked, girlfriend makes her feel and how no one has made her feel like that before.

She's okay with said girlfriend asking her for advice because "you are the person that knows her best" and "I like you, I trust you".

And she's definitely okay with going to have dinner with them at an expensive restaurant that only Blake can afford. She just asks Rich to go with them because... he... yeah.

She's okay.

* * *

She's not okay.

She's downed three wine glasses in record time.

Why? Because Tasha and Blake keep being adorable, holding hands, giving each other small pecks, feeding each other...

Rich looks at her, concerned, as she refills her glass. He clears her throat to get the couple's attention and forces a smile. "So... Do you plan on acting like we are not here all night, or...?"

"Sorry, we're still on the newlywed-like phase," Blake says while Tasha smiles sweetly at her.

Patterson chokes on her food, hearing the expression, and gets everyone's attention. After coughing a few times, she tells them she's fine.

"We actually wanted to thank you," Blake tells Patterson. "If it hadn't been for you... we wouldn't have talked and we wouldn't be officially together. So thank you. Thank you for being there for both of us and listening to our rants," she finishes. Tasha looks at her with her mouth slightly open and surprise in her eyes while Patterson feels a knot forming in her throat.

"No problem," she says with a strained voice before taking a sip from her wine.

She starts to feel like she can't breathe as she feels tears forming in her eyes. "I-- I'll be right back," she says, standing up abruptly and running to the bathroom.

She closes the door behind her just as the tears threaten to choke her.

Less than 2 minutes later, there's a knock on the door. "Patterson." It's Tasha. "Can I come in?"

Patterson manages to stop crying and wipes away the tears right before Tasha decides to come in.

"You okay?" she whispers. "I didn't know she was gonna do that, she can be pretty intense sometimes..." 

"I'm fine," she says, voice hoarse and not daring to turn around and face her because she knows Tasha will know she's not fine.

"Patterson..." She knows anyway. "What's wrong?" She puts a hand on Patterson's shoulder. "Look at me." Patterson turns around, incapable of hiding her sadness. Tasha frowns. "You can talk to me," she whispers. Patterson shakes her head as a few new tears run down her cheeks. Tasha brushes them off. "You can, whatever it is."

Separating from Tasha and shaking her head again, Patterson says "No. I-- I can't."

"Why?"

Patterson looks at her pleadingly, asking her to let it go.

"Why?" she repeats, softlier.

"Because I'm not fine," she says in a hushed tone.

"Why?" Tasha says once more, almost impossible to hear.

A tear falls down her cheek. "Because I-- I l--" A few knocks on the door interrupt Patterson's confession. Tasha sighs while Patterson closes her eyes.

"Is someone in there?" A woman says from outside.

"One minute," Patterson shouts to be heard. Then, looks back at Tasha. "We should go back." And leaves before Tasha can disagree.

* * *

"So what about you? Any love in sight?"

"Nah, love is too complicated," Rich answers.

"And you, Patterson?" Blake asks. Tasha's gaze falls on her, she seems interested. She also has been very quiet since they came out of the bathroom.

"Uh... I..." She looks down at her food, chewing the inside of her lip.

Blake gasps. "Oh my god, that's totally a yes." Her eyes shine as she grins.

"No, it's... It's complicated," she tries to brush it off, looking up. Her eyes connect with Tasha's.

"Why?" Blake asks.

"Doesn't like me that way..." She answers, still looking at Tasha.

"Did he tell you that?" Patterson breaks the eye contact and looks at Blake.

"No need. There's a girlfriend, anyway..."

"Oh," Blake says in a sad tone.

Patterson looks at Rich, silently begging him to change the subject and feeling Tasha's eyes still on her.

"So, um... Blake," he says, switching his gaze from Patterson to Blake. "What do you think about pigeons?"

* * *

They are taking a walk when Blake gets a call. She has to go but she tells them to keep enjoying the night without her. She gives Tasha a peck and leaves in a taxi.

Before either woman can protest, Rich has found an excuse to leave.

"Can I walk you home?"

"Sure."

They walk in an awkward silence until they reach Patterson's apartment. Patterson knows that Tasha has something in her head but is too afraid to ask in case it is what she thinks it is.

She thinks it's almost over when she opens her door, ready to say goodbye and avoid being alone with her for at least a month. But Tasha holds her wrist before she can say goodbye and close the door.

"What were you going to say earlier? In the bathroom," she asks in a low voice.

"Oh, it was nothing. Not important," Patterson answers, shaking her head.

"Patterson..." She looks so vulnerable, Patterson can't keep pretending. "I need to know."

With a shaky breath and a trembling lip, she says "You already know."

"I need to hear it." Patterson looks away. "Please."

"Why?" she asks, looking back at the brunette. "What does it matter, if you don't feel the same way? You want me to say it? I'll say it. I love you. I love you so much that seeing you with Blake makes me happy because _you_ are finally happy, but it also makes me miserable because I'm not the one that makes you happy. I'm deeply in love with you and I know that you will never feel the same but I can't help it. So, to answer your question from earlier, no, I'm not okay, but it doesn't matter as long as you are."

"You're such an idiot," Tasha says, shaking her head, before closing the distance between them and crashing her lips against Patterson's.

After gasping, Patterson realises what's going on and desperately kisses Tasha back. But soon remembers how wrong that is and breaks the kiss, pushing Tasha away. "Wait, wait. We can't."

"Blake," Tasha sighs.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry," she says closing her eyes. "I shouldn't have kissed you... I... I need some time to think." Patterson nods. "I should go," she says, still not moving. "Bye."

Patterson closes the door, and leans her head against it. "Fuck."


	4. and you let her go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a mess and I have no idea what I'm doing, but I love it

Tasha is acting weird, she's different. She may think Blake didn't notice because she, at least, tries to pretend everything is the same, but it's not. She's absent half of the time. It's been like that for a week. And Blake can't keep pretending she doesn't notice.

"Tash. What's going on?" she asks on a Sunday while they cook dinner.

"What do you mean?" Tasha frowns, leaving the egg she was gonna break on the counter to look at her girlfriend.

"These last few days. You've been... off, distant. It's like, your mind is somewhere else." As she speaks, Tasha's gaze falls to the floor. "What is it?" After a few seconds without an answer, Blake steps closer and, with a hand on her chin, lifts Tasha's head until she's looking at her, pain and guilt visible in her eyes. "When we started dating, I only asked you for one thing. Please don't lie to me."

Tasha's lower lip trembles a bit before she gulps down and nods. "I kissed Patterson," she whispers.

Blake's face falls. She takes a step back as a pressure grows in her chest. "What?"

"The other day, in the restaurant, we... we had a conversation in the bathroom, I asked her if she was okay and when she was gonna tell me why she wasn't, we got interrupted. So after you left, Rich left too and I took her home. I asked her to tell me what she was gonna tell me although I already had an idea of what it was... And, uh, she told me... She told me that she loves me and I just... I kissed her. It was just one brief kiss because, well, because of you... I-- I'm sorry."

Several moments pass in silence, Blake trying to take it all in and Tasha afraid of saying the wrong thing. "So that person she told us about was you."

"Yeah."

"And the girlfriend was me..." Blake sighs. Tasha doesn't answer that one, there's no need. "Do you love her?" she asks, voice barely audible.

"Blake..." Tasha pleads as a tear runs down her cheek.

"Please, Tasha. I can take it."

"Yes," Tasha breathes out.

"Is she... the one you told me about when I asked you if you had ever been in love?" she asks, guessing the answer. Tasha nods slowly, more tears escaping her eyes. "Okay. Thank you for telling me," she says, a tear finally falling. She wipes it away and turns around, she needs air.

A hand in her wrist stops her. "B-But I-- I love _you_ , too," Tasha tells her.

Blake, before facing her again, takes a deep breath. "I need some time. To think. And I... I think you need it too."

"Okay."

And she lets her go.

* * *

Patterson can't stop thinking about that night.

Tasha kissed her. After she told her how she feels, Tasha kissed her.

She doesn't know what it really means, because they have barely talked since. Everything seems the same to the outside with Blake too. Although Patterson can tell it's not.

She's sure Tasha chose Blake. It makes sense, Blake is amazing. She's perfect. It stings but she had already accepted it before that night, anyway.

Still, she can't shake off the feeling that she broke them. She's the reason they are not alright and she's the reason Tasha is not happy. Because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. She shouldn't have told her. She still doesn't know why she did it.

It's all confirmed when, on Monday, they arrive at different times and Blake spends as little time possible around as she can.

That same night she appears at Patterson's door.

"Can I come in?"

"Uh... Sure, of course," Patterson stutters, leading her inside. "What-- Is everything alright?"

"Do you love her? I mean, do you... Can you promise me you won't break her heart?"

"Ah... Blake, I... What?"

"She told me. Patterson, I just... I need to know. If-- if you won't hurt her, if you really love her... I will step out."

Patterson shakes her head. "No, I... S-she loves you."

"Maybe, but... I'm not you," she shrugs with a sad smile on her lips.

"Your feelings matter too, Blake." She raises an eyebrow at her, because yeah okay, she has been neglecting her own feelings too... "Either way, it's... her decision. We can't decide for her."

Blake sighs, falling into a chair. "I know... I just, I'm trying to make it easier..."

"I know..." Patterson says, wrapping an arm around Blake's head and giving her a side hug. "I wish I hadn't told her... I'm sorry I did this to you two."

She feels Blake's head shake against her. "Like you said, your feelings matter too, Patterson. It's not your fault."

"That's not what it feels like..."

"She was already in love with you when she met me, Patterson."

"What?" Patterson's breath catches.

"Uh... I... shouldn't have told you that..."

"Blake?"

"You know it's not my place to tell you... You should ask her if she has ever been in love, though."

* * *

**Can I ask you something?**

Patterson is nervous, she can't help but bite her nails as she waits for Tasha's answer.

**Of course**

**Have you even been in love?**

Blake told her to ask that and she doesn't know what to expect but whatever it is, it's nerve-wracking.

It takes a while, but eventually Tasha replies.

**I have.  
**   
**Twice.**


End file.
